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Will someone explan the following to me:

1. Where does the other sandal go? Either Jay or Sam has been missing a sandal for three weeks now. It never fails. I am ready to tie them together. Even though we have a place to put shoes now, one still just walks away. Grrrr.

2. Where do sippy cups go? Are they really set to slowly disintegrate so you have to buy new ones every 6 months? We had enough to supply an army. Now the only kid "cups" in the drawer are a yogurt container and a baby bottle sans nipple. There are various lids and stoppers in the drawer, but none fit anything we have used in oh, 2 years. How is this? Where the hell are all the cups?

3. How are chocolate covered graham crackers sooooo much better than plain ones? I am in carbo overload right now and I don't even care.

4. Is there a special force that draws the toilet paper roll to the toilet bowl? We have had 5 freaking roll of TP dunked in 2 weeks. That is more than the past 9 years. I am beginning to think it is the curse of the Charmin. We switiched from Cottonelle to Charmin becuase it was on sale at Sam's and we have had nothing but trouble ever since. Serves me right for buying the product of a company that used a wild bear shitting inthe woods as part of their ad campaign.

5. In the same vein, whoever invented the idea for low flush toilets should be drowned in one. I am so f'ing tired of plunging toilets with 4 squares of toilet paper in them I could spit. I am going to Canada in the fall and I would love to figure out a way to smuggle a new one home. This is ridiculous. We waste twice as much water because it takes 3 flushes to get the damn thing to work. We had to go out and buy a new plunger, so we helped kill another tree or rubber plant or something in the process. Meanwhile, those gigantic drive through carwashes keep popping up everywhere. If those aren't water wasters, then my old toilets were just fine, thank you.

6. What nationality are the Tubbies? I know the show originated in England, but what language are they speaking? I heard once that Po speaks some Chinese dialect, but hmmmm. Sam loves the damn show and couldn't care less if they were Martians. I am puzzled. Ranks right up there with "What is Goofy?"